Dear Mortified,
Not everyone is as honest as you, so I don’t know for sure, but I have a suspicion that if I had a fiver for everyone who read my last column and developed that sinking feeling of recognition just like you did, I’d… be at least a little bit richer. I appreciate your candour but, for better or worse, you’re not alone. In other words, it might simply be vanity that made you think the post was about you. And… perhaps it was about you, but it was about quite a few other folks as well.
Identifying the problem is half the battle though, right? Which means the chances are, if you’ve got enough self awareness to be asking this question, you’ve got enough to keep any gamesplainer tendencies in check. So take my reply as both a reassurance and… also a bit of an intervention:
For the benefit of you and any other worried potential gamesplainers reading this, here are a few tips for all of those who found that last post hitting a little close to home:
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When you’re choosing a new game to play, make sure everyone else in the group is also up for playing it and you are not pushing them to. Consent is important. They may say this out loud, or through body language, reluctance to play or a cancellation. But you know, as with all situations involving good consent, it’s great to just ask them.
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If you get past that stage but your friends tell you they’re worried about not understanding a more complex game, or recoil as you reveal the fifty-six-page rulebook, it is great that you want to reassure them, and often a practice round or a first time play-through really does help. That’s more of a seasoned gamer strategy though, rather than some folks’ idea of a fun night. While we may be used to committing a whole evening to set up, or accepting that our first play through of a complex game may be a bit of a necessary evil, not everyone sees that as required training for the Olympic sport of board gaming (maybe Paris 2024?). In case your guests (or hosts) feel like memorising a rule book is a waste of time rather than a perfect evening, always have a backup game that has a familiar theme, brand, or mechanic in case they are really not up for the challenge.
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To help with point 2, and also just in general, it may help to watch a quickstart video before teaching the game so that you can practice in advance and cut down your talking time to maximise playing time. Focus on making sure other players know the style of game and the object of the game – summarise what it takes to win, and then dive in. People can ask questions or consult the rules as they go (whch means you may need to let go of the rulebook for a little while…).
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Mix it up a bit. Let someone else explain the game first as often as possible, and only take the reins on the ones no one else is familiar with. You may be assuming some folks are not seasoned gamers because they’re not in your usual gaming circle, but they may have a Kallax full of Catan expansions at home that you just don’t know about. And you never know – other friends may be newer to games, but have a hidden aptitude and the right introduction could mean their delighted entry into a fun and satisfying board game universe. If you’re having a long session of several games, try to ensure that some games are familiar to most of the players.
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Finally, try to be aware of whether your voice, vocabulary, and posture change as you start explaining. Do you find yourself becoming louder, using extra-long words or leaning over other players? Are you imagining your Gold Play Button from YouTube hanging on the wall behind you, an array of ring lights in front of you, and about to ask people to like and subscribe right there at the table? This is a sure sign you are launching into a full-on gamesplainer performance. Remember that no matter how much you love games, your friends and family love you and love spending time with you. They will more likely develop enthusiasm for the games you love by watching you enjoy them while just being yourself.
And so, Mortified in Meersbrook, I wish I could conclude with ‘and there you have it’ but game explaining is an art form that we are all constantly improving at, even here at the Treehouse. Keep working at it and listening to your guests and your gut, and I’m sure you’ll soon settle into a new style that helps everyone to at least feel comfortable and, hopefully, excited to join you for the next game night.
Good luck,
Chella on behalf of Team Treehouse xx
So that’s our second advice column! If you have a burning board game-related question you want answering, please email The Treehouse at contact@treehousesheffield.com with the subject heading “Agony Aunt”. All letters will be anonymised.
Chella Quint is a Treehouse staffer, board gamer, and author of the books Be Period Positive and Own Your Period.