Hello and welcome to another instalment of the Treehouse’s agony aunt column! This one is slightly unusual because instead of a ‘Dear Auntie Chella’ letter, today I have a conversation for you which I had with a friend who approached me about her issue in person.
I will now relay this conversation to you, dear readers, in case it helps someone else.
BGB: You’re writing an advice column for the Treehouse now?! Can you help me out with something?
Chella: Sure – go for it.
BGB: Help! I’m a board game bitch!
Readers, I blinked a few times. We took the rest of the conversation to text messages later that day, in a conversation that the aforementioned ‘BGB’ has happily agreed that I can share.
Chella: So you say you’re a what now?
BGB: A board game bitch.
Chella: And you are happy for me to call you this in print?
BGB: Yes, I own it.
Chella: And let me just check, can anyone of any gender be one of these?
BGB: Oh definitely, but I claim the crown.
Chella: What are your worst symptoms of board game bitchiness? Bitchery? Bitchdom? Bitchhood? I am not used to saying this word. Please stop me.
BGB: My worst symptoms? Irrational squeakiness, incandescent fury, and lengthy sulking. I get far too mean and loud and competitive and make my husband hate me. We are only able to play Monopoly once a year. I just lose my temper and can’t control myself.
Chella: Okay… which games are your worst culprits?
BGB: Monopoly, of course, and Dobble and Snap I get far too into.
Chella: Well are there any games that I don’t know… soothe you?
BGB: Any that soothe me? Not sure I’ve really found any yet 😂 I do like Fungi though. Who can get angry about pans of butter?
Chella: That is an excellent point. OK, I think I can help you. Usually the letter is anonymised by me naming the person after an alliterative part of Sheffield, in traditional agony aunt style. Are you happy to be The Board Game Bitch of Broomhill?
BGB: Sure… close enough.
Chella: Very well, check the Treehouse blog for my reply.
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